These are 10 points that I have found to be important to me throughout the semester. Please feel free to comment.
1)
Courage - To strengthen someone's heart; to have heart :) - we live in a world
that is rife with inequity and problem. This world can easily being to snuff
out the weak and insecure. If we want to see success in our families and in
ourselves we need to be able to stand up for our beliefs in the moment of peril
and stand that ground. Courage is doing the right thing in the face of those
who oppose you and seek to break you down. What will I do in that moment? I
will never back down and teach my children to do the same.
2)
3 P's - protection - provide- preside - The family proclamation tells us
of the roles of a father and mother, but I believe there is more to the father
section that isn't explicitly told like everything else is. Traditional
marriages begin with the man seeking out a young lady that he likes. They date
for a period of time before making things official and then begins the period
of courtship that leads to the two love birds getting engaged and eventually
married. For that to happen however, the guy must put off childish things and
become a man through active dating and risking heartbreak to find real love. He
must be willing to take charge while dating to show her how much she means to
him and preside over those events by paying for the date and providing means by
which they are to enjoy their time together. He must be careful to never let
his sweetheart fall into any harm by anything or anyone, especially himself. He
must keep his mind and actions pure while he is with her. Through these actions
he shows her that she is worth everything to him which I believe are essential
for love.
3)
Mothers and Education - Mothers in this day and age are attacked on all sides.
I see good mothers being slammed for their desire to have an education. I
personally believe those mothers will be all the more able to help rear their
children because of that degree than they could have without it. It doesn't
matter really what the degree is in for there are principles that pertain to an
education in general that benefit children. For example, persistence,
dedication, leadership, and hard work are just surface level qualities that
anyone going through a higher education must have to excel. Mothers who possess
these qualities can help their children because they don't give up on them
during the hard times. In addition, anyone who has pursued a college degree
must be able to think abstractly and intuitively. Parenthood will require such
talents as well. I personally am thankful that I met my wife at college because
I know my children will be all the better mentally and developmentally because
of her and her dedication to her studies and her family.
4)
Sex Ed - Aside from the priesthood, the power of procreation is the greatest
power that God has given us the ability to use here on the earth as mortal
beings. With that power comes an incredible responsibility to protect yourself
and others around you from giving up that power to someone who may not treasure
it for was it really is and what it means to you. That power of procreation is so
special and so important to our Father in Heaven and therefore needs to be as special to each of us. How can we
believe that our children will learn and understand the intimate sanctity behind
sex in the public school systems where sex Ed programs are taught? Parents need
to understand that the sacredness behind sex cannot be left up to a system. Parents
need to make sure they teach those principles in the home. Only then will a
child understand the real sanctity behind sex, if a parent (whom the child trusts)
can share their own beliefs and thoughts about something so important. I will
bite that bullet and teach my kids myself, not a system.
5)
ABCX – I believe this model has real power in helping a family overcome crises.
This system does this by helping each member of the family to first understand
what the problem is, what the opportunities or resources are available, the
thoughts or cognitions behind each member of the family on the crisis, and then
the overall experience can finally be understood. By going through those steps the
family’s overall experience of a crisis can be changed and if done correctly the
family can turn the crisis into a positive. I have a lot of faith and trust in
this model and in the process. I will use this model with my children to help
them work through crises and help make hard situation and good situation.
6)
Divorce – Oh the “D Word.” When dating my now wife, we had a pretty lengthy
conversation about the histories of our families. We discovered that both of
our mothers had been divorced twice and married now 3 times. We discussed our
ultimate fears of how we would end up like our mothers and become a divorced
person at some point if we ever got married. As we continued to date we
discovered the depth of our commitment to each other and if we ever did get
married the topic of divorce would never be spoken of. Not to avoid this topic
or to say that it’ll never happen to us, but to say that we will never speak of
it to allow it to take root in our minds. We believe that as we continue to
express our love for each other and serve each other that we are putting forth
the effort and work towards making our marriage a very happy one. We will never
say that word and consider it to be above the other 4 letter curse words in our
family. By my wife and I sticking it out through those hard times my kids will
be blessed that their parents have never split and know how to work through
hard times effectively together. For my wife and I both know if one
7)
Gender Roles – I believe gender and the roles associated with gender to be
designed by a loving and all knowing Father in Heaven. I believe that each
gender has particular strengths that can benefit and uplift the family for the
better. I also believe that each gender has specific responsibilities to be
utilized and if those responsibilities are ignored, great problems may occur
and threaten the family. I will do my best to magnify my role in the family and
show unto my children by word and deed the importance of those roles. I will
not disappoint them.
8)
Hanging out vs. Dating – I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, “hanging out”
is a sorry excuse for a copout in dating. It is lazy and un-charming. Hanging
out is a façade for a lack of commitment. When two people like each other but
don’t want to seem overbearing or creepy they ask if the other person wants to “hang
out.” When those two people don’t want to seem clingy or “commitful” they’ll
revert to hanging out. It is common, it is disrespectful, and it can lead to
some serious problems with word of wisdom and chastity. If two people really
like each other they shouldn’t beat around the bush. They should commit to the
date and be honest with each other. Grow up. Be mature. Stop hanging out.
9)
Communication – communication is the bedrock for my marriage with my beautiful
wife. We in fact met in an Interpersonal Communications class here on campus.
We learned the importance of good communication in the hard times as well as
the good times. We know that trial and tribulation will come but we feel very
blessed to have each other because we both feel that no matter the circumstance
that can arise we will have the fortitude to beat it together. We know that as
long as we are open with each other and can continue to share our feelings and
thoughts together that we will remain on the same page and find great joy and
happiness because of that union. I will show my children that communication is
essential for success by showing how my wife and I communicate through both
good times and the hard.
10)
Strength of Counsels & Councils – my Patriarchal Blessing states the
importance of the sisters here on the earth. It speaks of the wisdom that they
have and more importantly that of my wife. It speaks of the importance of me listening
to her and counseling with her in all things that we may be one together and
that I will be more richly blessed with her insights. I have begun to see that
come to fruition as we have counseled on many things together and have found
that she has incredible ability to see the end from the beginning and a
possible pathway to that end. I will do my best to teach my children the
importance of counseling together and reasoning together toward a common goal.
I will hold family home evenings to have us convene together and plan out
together as a family our method of accomplishing our goals.
